I Fantasize About Being Caught
Not by my partner—by someone who would look at me like I finally exist. The fantasy is specific and has never happened and might ruin me if it did.
My partner is faithful. I am faithful. Fantasies don't count, I tell myself.
Except mine aren't generic. They're specific: hallway, office party, his hand on my waist, someone turning the corner, the freeze, the eye contact, the not looking away.
I want to be seen wanting.
Therapist says it's about visibility.
I agree and still scroll stories about almost caught because fiction is safer than ruining a life I built on purpose.
If you're like me: you're not alone. You're also not obligated to act.
Fantasy can be a room with a door. Keep the door.
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